Right;

So, the last two days have gone really good. I haven't broken my plateau yet, but I can tell I'm loosing weight and the size of my stomach is on the shrink ;)
You know how I said that Monday was going to be my first day of ana again? Haha, yeah well, that failed. Had my soup, and then had about half of the contents of the pantry, rofl. Well, not rofl at the time, but its undoubtable that I have grown from that, and am over that immature shit now.
So, didn't had a calorie deficet yesterday, had a coffee this morning and nothing else, and will have dinner sooon :/
Vegetarian on Monday. Can't waiiit. Thinking of going vegan, so I can't stock up on cheese and shit, which have so much fat in them. But, I'll figure that out later down the line, because I have to prove to mum that I can cook vegetarian for myself, and cook me good food.
Sometimes, I hate living at home with anorexia, but then, I'm only 16, I can hardly move out. It wouldnt be good for me or my family, if I did.
So, me and ana are just going to have to live with staying at home.

Little rant; I HATE WANNAREXCIS.
(people who wish they were anorexic) Like really, this is not a fucking good thing, I constanly hate myself, and hurt myself, and cut myself and starve myself and push myself to the physical limit, in order to loose weight. I go for days at a time without eating, weeks even.
And, i have this friend at school, who "starves" herself for a day, meaning she doesn't eat during the school hours (so for like, 6 and a half hours) and then goes on and on and on about it.
Like, really. Noone really cares. Go make yourself a fucking sandwhich.
GRR. Nobody knows that I have ever been over a day without eating, with the exception of my mum, when i was "sick" and she foodstalked me for two days straight, until I caught on and ate.
Its so stupid, some people should thank their lucky stars that they aren't cursed with this.
But then again, how much of a blessing is it, when you get on the scale and find a big loss. The most rewarding thing ever.
You know what they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

Night for now, ana love.

Ana's BACK

Wow, it took me ages to log it to this, I freaked out because I thought I lost my account :/
Sorry I haven't posted in aaages, but I've been away on holiday until yesterday, was my first day back at school.
Holiday was so good, tried to get a long walk in everytime I could, only fasted for 2 days in the whole holidays though :/
Was 57kgs when I left to Australia, and now am 60kgs. And to be honest, I'm really impressed. Like, with the amount of alocohol I consumed especially, and Easter chocolate, I'm really lucky that I didn't gain more.

And, was meant to fast again today, but couldn't do it. Was first day back at school, felt sick, and just couldn't do it.
But tomorrow, ana is back, and back for good.
115calories tomorrow (1 pomegranate and lychee juice before school, and 45calorie soup before netball training)
and gunnah do anything to get out of having dinner, talk about how tired I am or some shit, and then no eating until Wednesday night, where I will have a little dinner.
I can not wait. I know I say that before every fast, but I truley cannot wait.
Just 10 more kg's until happiness, just 10 more kgs till perfection.
Cantwait.
But from all the shit I've been eating lately, its pretty obvious I've plateued (spelling? Sorry)
But Im willing to put in all of the work that I have to, to do this.
Infact, I am going vegetarian as of next week.
Told my parents I'm doing it for a month, as a way to see if I can do it.
But its more then that, its to avoid all of the fats in meat, and crap like that, but yeah.
truth is, I've been trying to give myself food poisoning lately, even Praying for it :/ just an attempt to hurt myself really. Eating raw chicken, hoping to throw up, hoping it will make me sick. Ceuse I really hate throwing up, i can't purge, makes me so depressed. Well, even more so.
But, i think going vego for a while will do me the world of good. :D
so, lots to look forward to in the next couple of weeks, if I work really hard, that is. Which, I can do. Just need to stay on track.

Starving for perfection, dying to be thin. The tales of ana. My physco, secret best friend. My deep secret that noone will ever know about. Ana my love, never leave me again.