Update:

Been terrible at posting lately. Been terrible at everything lately though, to be fair.

I worked all week last week, and have been out drinking every night since last Thursday. Tonight is the only night that I've actually spent at home.
Last night I hung out with two friends, D and S, and my friend C came also. D and S then left and me and C were chilling at the beach, drinking, smoking, talking and watching the sunset. Once they were gone, he spent most of the time cuddling me/holding my hand and kissing me with us both taking the piss out of each other. We then had to mission up to the shops to meet with D and S again, and the whole walk he was holding my hand and I kinda died a little. We went to a party afterwards, where we kind of both did our own thing, but I was stoked because at the end of the night, he stayed with me and didn't give me a reason to not trust him. He walked me home and we hugged and kissed some more and it was pretty cute :3

I'm meant to be meeting him at a party on Saturday night; one of his friends' leaving parties. I asked if it would be alright for me to get in and stuff, and he was like "of course, your my girlfriend." This I was, and am still not, aware of, but um, yeah. My best friend, however, wants me to go to town. Either way, I'm not eating until Saturday. Where ever I go, I need to not actually be a fat piece of lard. As hard as that is.

I've also finalized my move this year; I leave on Feb 13th. I don't want to go, but at least I'll be able to lose weight down there without the prying eyes of my best friend and my family.

So tomorrow I plan to have 180 liquid calories in the morning some time, and then clean my room, and put the finishing touches on my big move. I might be going out drinking that night, as my best friend owes me so much alcohol and so many cigarettes. Even then, ya'll can be sure that I won't be eating.
I need to be under 65kg by Saturday, which gives me 3 days to lose 2kg. Should be easy, but I guess we'll see.
I'

Wow. Just wow.

So last night was amazing. I went down to the beach with my best friend armed with cigarettes and alcohol and we chilled there and drunk for awhile. We even swam out to a raft with 2 drinks each and a packet of cigarettes and went and sat on a little raft 200m out in the ocean.

Then, C, the guy I like came to see me with his friends. Everyone was really wasted by this point. All night he was holding my hand, had his arm around me or was kissing my forehead. I felt so safe and protected, sitting there with his hand in mine, wearing his jacket. He spent the whole night telling me how beautiful I was, and that he'd be with me in a heartbeat. He's the biggest player out, so its not like I believe that for a second. But its nice to hear, I guess.
He walked me home, holding my hand all the way and kissed me goodnight. It was the cutest fucking thing that has ever happened to me, honestly.

Yesterday I ate a chicken and lettuce sandwich, and today I had a fucking potato top pie, and some chips. I might make noodles for dinner later, I'm not sure.

Omg I'm gonna die, that was the cutest night of my life. I'm still wearing his jacket, c:

Holy fucking shit.

Holy wow./ tomight was weird.

So, me and my best friend went swimming at a beach, and I the guy I like, 'C' where I was. He came down to see me with his friends. He spent the whole night calling me 'beautiful' and telling me not to be so down on myself when I said he was full of shit and that I should 'not be so down on myself,' because, (and I swear that this was pinky promished like !000 times) that I shouldn't doubt myself because I am really beautifu;/ He helf hands with me all night and kissed me right outside my house after walking me home. Holy fuck this isn't thinpo but I'm drunk and had my first kiss and shit like that so, fuck yeah.s

I have the biggest butterflies right now :3

So far today has been the greatest day.

Had a chicken sandwich and mocha so far today, and won't eat anymore tonight because I have no money in my account until Friday and neither does my best friend.
Feeling pretty hungry too, even though work was pretty chill today - it'll be busy in the next couple of days.

Hopefully going to the beach soon to go swim, which will burn a fair few calories in itself.

YAY.

Eep :3

Sorry for the lack of posting, its been a busy week so far!

Been working all week, which is good. Work = money and work = tough physical labour. It also means being reunited with my first real love, and things have been going pretty smoothly with that so far; its cute.

I haven't been eating whilst I'm working, normally just a moccachino in the morning and nothing for the rest of the day. Everyone questions my lack of eating but I really am not fussed at this point. Today I went to get high with a friend and brought a 6 inch subway, ate half a cookie pie and a few chips. Tomorrow I'm hoping for nothing.

Last night me and two friends got very drunk and met up with a guy who has a thing for me, and I've semi-agreed to sleep with him when he gets back from holiday on the 16th, although I am planning on pretending to have my period then, as immature as that is. It all just depends on how he treats me now that he thinks he's got me where he wants me. Especially considering that I can't stand to see my body naked, and I don't want anyone else to see it until I'm at least satisfied somewhat with it. I'm planning on restricting and fasting until then, just to be on the safe side.

Tomorrow is going to be my hardest day at work all week, but I'm still going to keep it to 1 caloried drink in the morning and then a shit load of 0 calorie/diet caffeine.

Going to have a cigarette and finish my cup of peppermint tea, then off to bed. Hope everyone is having a good week so far!

Eating plan:

Saturday:
2 x toast with marmite (200) and coffee (54)

Sunday:
Zero calories

Monday-Wednesday:
I liquid calorie drink at work (probably will be iced coffee/mocha)

Thursday:
Muesli bar (150 calories)if I need assistance getting through the day

Friday:
1 calorie high drink.
Toast if going out drinking

Saturday:
Coffee (54 calories)
Toast if going out drinking.

Rinse and repeat. Bitch I'm going to lose this weight.

I cannot wait to fast again.

Tomorrow I'm going out with a friend to get her hair dyed (kill me now) and she will probably make me eat but after that I'm fasting until C comes back from holiday - because even if I don't like him I'm going to make sure that he knows what he is missing.

All I want to do right now is not eat, and now is the perfect time for that because the holiday season has officially (albeit sadly) come to a close now, and I'm starting work again on Friday, then working all of next week. Unfortunately, my broke ass will only see about 6% of that money as the rest is going to my parents to pay back a loan I got over new years to pay for my drugs/cigarettes/alcohol.

Speaking of cigarettes, I'm unofficially quitting smoking because they have gone up in price to $16 and right now I literally only have $7 to my name. Shit. I miss them already.

Early morning tomorrow- have to take my cat to the vet as he has conjunctivitis, then going to the salon. Maybe I'll even be able to trick d into thinking I ate on the way to the vet so that I don't have to eat with her.. Now that's not silly..

Goodnight all, stay safe.

I always get to this point when I'm drunk.

Everyone just left my house, we never ended up making cupcakes, but I was forced into 2 packets of noodles (200 calories) and a chicken burger (???). But right now, I'm so fucking depressed.

My 'friends' stole all of my cigarettes so now I have nothing to calm me down.
I know I said that I was over 'C', but everytime I drink I get to the point where he is the onlyfuckingthing that I want. The only thing. I just want to kiss him and hug him and be with him until the end of the world.
I know for a fact that he isn't loyal to me, that he is texting and facebooking other girls telling them the same things that he told me. But I fell for it and now I can't get out.

Do you know what makes things worse? This guy who likes me is texting me right now about wanting to come see me and stuff. I can't even enjoy the attention because I'm so fucking caught up on C to do anything. I really just want to cry. I'm pathetic, I know. Sorry.

I don't want to jinx anything but this has been a pretty good year so far!

And its only three days in c:

Have been out drinking every night so far; just having chill nights drinking with my girls and it feels good!
I'm getting over that boy 'C' now, after reuniting with an old flame today. Seeing how others treat me, and then how he treats me really puts things into perspective.

I haven't binged so far this year, but I have been eating semi-normally, with around three meals a day, eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full; so I guess that's a good thing. I still want to fast, but, as cliche and stupid as it sounds, my social life won't let me do that right now. I'm going to chill out on the going out and drinking after tonight, and get right back into fasting.
I don't know what I weigh right now, my electronic scale is broken and I don't trust my dial one. I'm guessing i'm between 64-65kg.

I'm also moving away from home this year to go to university elsewhere, so there I will hopefully be able to restrict , if not fast, and work out. I'm actually kind of excited, even though I know it will be a lonely year for me as I'm not good at making new friends.

Anyway, that's all for now. Going to chill and watch some tv now whilst my brother is out, and then friends are coming over to drink, and make cupcakes (see? -.- ) tonight. Should be pretty fun.

Happy new year!

So bring on 2012, right! I hope its a better year for all concerned.

Haven't been doing a lot lately, I'm still recovering from my new years eve ;p
My friend is for sure recovering, and deleted her tumblr, as did I.
My new year goal is to get to 48kg - which would be my lowest recorded weight.

I still like that boy, he still treats me just like one of his other booty calls, which fucks me off. Maybe it's time to let go.