On more than one account.
I've been ignoring this blog again, and back into the habit of starving, binging and purging. I spent all of today getting high and eating and I feel disgusting.
I weighed 66.7kg this morning (BMI: 20.1) and I've come back "home" for the next three weeks on holidays. I want to lose at least 10kg, putting me at roughly 57-58kg depending on how much I gained today, and therefore a BMI of 17.1-17.5 when I get back.
So, I swore off the food and begun fasting as of 12:30pm today.
Tomorrow I plan to go down to my local library, do a bit of shopping, get a starbucks (240 calories) and come home between 12:30-1pm. Then, I will either have some hot and spicy noodles (100) with vegetables (25) and cayenne pepper (10) sometime after 12:30, to prepare myself for a two day fast; bringing myself to a total of 375 for the day.
On Wednesday I'm supposed to be drinking with a friend, not eating before hand and if she starts preparing food I'm leaving.
I'll eat again on Thursday, maybe make a stir fry, have noodles, or a salad or something, and then am fasting for three days, and so on until I get up to five days, then I'll decide what I want to do from there.
Briefly, there's this guy that I like down at my hostel, we kind of have a thing (when we're drunk) - always holding hands, cuddling etc but he currently has a girlfriend who is not me. If I'm thin when he sees me next, maybe he'll change his mind. Maybe he'll want me instead. Maybe things will work out.
I'm losing all of this. I've done it before; this blog just shows that. I'll bloody well do it again. I don't care what I lose anymore as long as I lose the weight.
No comments:
Post a Comment