Hello Ana's

Sorry, my promise to blog more hasn't really come through so much yet..has it? Whoops, sorry.
Well, I'm glad to say that ana is back, and back to stay <3 After looking in the mirror on Tuesday (?) night, and seeing my fat fucking reflection, I decided it was time to take some serious action, and so i did. Since wednesday (now saturday) i have lost at least 3kgs. Water fasted 24 hours yesterday, then liquid fasted another like, 17, before having to eat before netball. Had to much, bread mainly, carbs - not so good.
And my poor shrinking stomach felt so sore after days of being starved, to suddenly being full. But the thing is, my parents are very much on to me. As well as others. At netball today, my best friend 'N' and her mum were talking to my mum, and both said i was 'too skinny.'
And my parents, all week, have been talking about how little I'm eating and how concerend they are. To be honest, I don't think that they've caught on to my ED, because they don't want to admit that our 'happy little family' (which has never actually been so happy) has holes in it and is experiencing troubles. If anything, my mum will be onto it soon, but by then, I will have had time to fake my way through this.
Like, plan:
To keep my parents mind at ease, going to make some scrambled eggs with frozen vegetables, for dinner before 7pm, and then liquid fast until 7pm tomorrow.
Then, suggest that we go food shopping sometime tomorrow, and buy lots of juices and sub 100 calorie snacks and juices (which i shall research soon) and stock up on those. I know mum will ensure that we buy some easy snack food, like chips and muslei chocoloate bars, but thats ok with me. To be honest, I've felt so strong lately, its crazy, i'm loving it. And i've said 'no' to quite a considerbale amount of food, that I normally would have no second thoughts about eating. And, you know what they say, everytime you say 'no thank you' you say 'yes please' to thin.
I'm aiming to be 55kgs on friday, with which I shall reward myself with a powerade on saturday for netball. For then, I'm going to try and stay there for the weekend, with sensible 'normalISH' eating, before trying to get to my ultimate goal of 50kgs. I know its not going to be easy, not easy at all. But i have to do it.

I'd die to be thin.
I will die to be thin.

Oh,& I'm back into reading 'ana regzig's' blog. I have to say, It is one of the most insperational things I have ever read. She;s quite like me, like, God is number one for her, for me too.
And she's very real, she isn't perfect, she has fails and struggles and doubts and attempts to escape from ana, but, who doesn't? It's honesty so thinspirational, and that is partly what helped me get back on track.
I really recomend you check it out, google 'dieing to be thin' ;)
Thats all for now, night ana's. Off to make my killer scrambled eggs and sit down with my cold water and watch a movie, and gear up for my liquid fast tomorrow.
Thank you to the Lord for all his help this week. He is amazing, and I love Him with all of my heart. Nightall<3