Hey Ya'llllllll ;D

So another day down, another day sticking with the plan.
Had my 54 calorie coffee this morning, no lunch, nothing until dinner, where I had 2 vegetarian sausages (don't know exactly how many calories, but, from research, no more than 300) and half a thing of pita bread (about 200calories) and steamed vegetables, to which i added tobasco sauce (not very many calories at all really.) then, I had two buiscuits, simply because deprivation now will lead to binging later. Because of the time dad wanted to have dinner, my fast is running an hour late (will be from 8pm until 12pmsaturday) which makes it.. exactly 40hours, hahaa. So, thats half an hour shorter then it was meant to be (yeah in my other post i realize that i said it was a 38 hour fast, guess my calculation there was wrong lol)
but, 40 hours is good, and, if I can stick to that, I will be stoked. And, I WILL stick to that. I vow it to you know. I will make it. Until 12pm saturday.
Tomorrow I'm allowed my 54calorie coffee in the morning, and then, if needed, a tea (without milk). Then, saturday, hopefully I don't have to go to work, so I can sleep in. Either way, i can have one thing of porridge, and an up&go to break the fast. (If need be, I can have the up and go earlier, thats just my weekend limit.)

Was down to 55.5kgs today, which i'm impressed with. Hopefully I don't go overboard this weekend. I'm supposed to be going to a friends house for drinks on saturday, but I've found some semi low calorie drinks (like,175 per drink) and as long as the rest of my weekend is good, then I should remain, or loose (fingers crossed) over the weekend.

Gosh, I hate how this disease fucks with your social life. I hate lieing to people and not going out to dinner, or not going out to drinks, or not going to there house, because I'm in the middle of a fast, or just too afraid to eat. I hate that, but then, it will be worth it when I'm thin. And, soon, i will find ways to not eat, but still go out, since the old 'i've just eaten' never really works for me anymore :/

Well, I'm off. Going to visit the house that I might be babysitting tomorrow, hope i get the job. Excersizing and playing with kids, whilst feeling to guilty to feed my face. Great. And, a good way to tell my parents I already ate ;) things are looking good.
Post tomorrow when the hunger pangs set in, but I'm not breaking this fast, I'm very very determiind, to tell you the truth. Although its not long, by any stretch of the imagination, it is about as long as i can go for now, whilst keeping on radiating the illusion that I'm eating.
Oh, & I've been doing a lot of fake eating lately, like this morning i got a HEAP of (raw) pasta, and put it into a bowl with HEAPS of cheese and pasta sauce, and put it in the micowave to melt the cheese. Then, down the waste disposal all of it goes. Same with half a packet of biscuits and some mini pieces of cheesecake. I hate wasteing food, but, better 'wasted' then 'waisted.' And im going to make it up to my parents and stuff, got a jar of money (currently over $100) which I'm going to spend on presents for the family, and on charity. Was going to use it on a car, but this is so much more morally important. Got to give back to those who've given so much (even if some of it; ie food; ws unwilllingly) hhahah
ok, NOW i'm off.
Love to ana and the Lord, my Savior. This fast is for You, for giving me strength, hope, and for staying with me when I thought no one else would. Lord, this is for You. <3