So fucking knackered.

Haven't slept or eaten yet today. I have so far had my chocolate milk (208), soup (45) and another soup (78)and will probably have another 45 calorie soup if I ever make it to the library and back. I have a house meeting tonight before dinner, and I have been told that "the meeting is compulsary and so is dinner." It's steak and cheese pie tonight. Here, that is the epitome of good meals. I don't want to go. I should be in the library now. Ideally, I would. Uhhh. Had to go to the supermarket to buy presents for mid winter Christmas tomorrow night. I ended up buying some lower calorie versions of the chocolate milk (150 as opposed to 208) and some chewing gum. I was so close to buying food. And I'm still not entirely sure that I'm not going to eat tonight. That's why I need to get to the library right now. Then I can come home, shower, sleep, bed. It's almost been 36 hours since my last meal. And I don't care. I feel empty but not in a good way. I thought that this fast, with me finding an exit clause after the weeks antics, would make me happy. But I'm more depressed then ever, and I don't know what to do. Just fuck everything, you know?