I've actually had a really good day today, hung out with an old friend and trailed around the mall for hours, but now I'm alone again and I'm so depressed.
And it's all because of the guy I like. Ugh. I just want him to be mine, I just want to hug and kiss him and cuddle him all night, but I don't even know where I stand with him. He'd only use me for sex, and apparently I'm not even good enough for that. Damn fat. Fuck.
Got away with having only one potato chip thing and a lolly pop today, so I should be happy, but I'm not. I never thought my moods would depend on someone like this, but they are. I'm used to my mood being dependent on my food and weight, but not on other people. I don't want to be without him, even though he's no good for me. He just knows all the right things to say, and its driving me crazy.
Guess I'm not good enough for anybody.
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