"Calories won't make you happy"

And don't I know it.

After quite a bad weekend, I still find myself on the dot of 60kgs. Hoping to break that this week.

Got the cross trainer yesterday, my parents are afraid I'm wearing it out already. If only they knew my plans..

So I haven't consumed any calories in the last 27hours, was planning to treat myself a bottle of apple juice for school, 100mL (45calories) and the rest diluted with water, if I got up at 6:30am to work out today.

Well, I tried the juice, YUCK. Too watered down even for my taste. And I didn't want to have a whole bottle of juice, so i just stuck with water. Like I have in the last 27hours.



So, I got up at 6:30am this morning, starting my new routine. Worked 20mins, 80calories. Then it was about time for me to get ready for school. But 80calories? (at this point i thought i was going to have my juice as a reward, and wanted a bigger deficet to start the day) so i worked another 5minutes and burned 20calories to make it an even hundred.

Took a chocolate egg to school today, so that I could give it away, and not have to eat it at home. Successful.

So was armed for the day with my ham and salad sandwhich and bottle of water.

By the first period of the day, my stomach was rumbling. You have no idea how tempted I was to eat my sandwhich. But I promised the Lord last night, that this fast would be for him, because my fri/sat fast was terrible. With that in mind, I gave my sandwhich away, without so much of a second glance from anybody.



Was planning to spend the afternoon on the cross trainer, but had a mountain of homework to do before wednesday, and considering I have netball tomorrow, I'm not going to have the time then. So, I spent time doing my homework, taking a short break to burn 20calories, another break to burn 30calories.

Total intake for the day so far: 0
Total burned for the day so far: 150
Deficte so far: 150calories. Cool.

Spent more time doing my homework, and waiting for a guy to come and fix the wall (who was an hour late. Honestly, terrible service. Especially when i was dieing for a workout)
But when he left, I went back onto the xtrainer, and burned 150 more calories, and did 100 situps.

So, in the last 27hours:
Intake: 0
Burned: 300calories
Deficet: 300calories.

Going to have dinner soon, roast chicken, rice and salad. Shouldn't make to much of a difference, so hopefully I wake up lighter tomorrow. Which I would LOVE, considering how terrible I look and feel right now.

Tomorrow: can wake up at normal time. No calories thoroughout the day, only water, until the afternoon. Burn at least 100 calories on crosstrainer, then can have either a yougurt, weetbix or up&go. All I know how many calories they are, (but not off the top of my head) so will burn the excess once i decide what to eat. And then a coffee or 100mLs of milk/juice if i need it, and off to netball, where I have to run hard to try and burn more. Come home, have 1piece of baked beans on toast, then bed.
Thats the plan.

Please Lord. Please help me loose this weight. I feel so ugly and fat, and I need to be thin. I need to be less so I can make You more. Please help me do this. All I have to be, is 50kgs. Thats all. Not dead, not bony. Please Lord. I love you.
xoxoox